I hope this is the answer to these "unrest state of mind" for the past few months. I'm a bad guy. Not as in Billie Eilish way, but as in being a total shit to others.

I'll admit, people probably hated me. I'm an ignorant, careless, selfish person. I can feel it- nobody gives me a shit when it's holiday. Most of my mates from school only ask me about things that correlates with assignment. When there is no assignment from school- well- no notifications ever came in.

That can only mean one thing; I'm not needed except for school things. That means nobody liked me. Nobody thought that I'm someone that they can rely onto.

Imagine being a good guy that everyone can heavily relies. I really want to be more socially competent- so I can be friends with other more easily.

As always, this random urge to "be a good guy" comes from a few minutes ago where I watch a random YouTube shorts about someone giving other guy a hug even though they're strangers.

Maybe I'm not destined to be the main character like I always dreamed (going to England be a millionaire etc). Maybe god want me to be a helpful guy to others.

I hope this message will not just stay on my head tonight- I hope this will stuck and be a guideline of my life in the future.

So, if youre somehow reading these and got an urge to do something good, well i hope you will succeed. Here's a hug from me 🫂 :)